New Year…new me?

I was recently rummaging through some old stuff on my comp and remembered ‘I have a blog’. The last time I posted here was over a year ago. My last post was not very nice, and I want to lighten the mood. Just an update from my life the past year…

I finally bit the bullet and transferred into culinary school at CNM! I am in my second semester and while things haven’t gone exactly like I had hoped (me being in the test kitchen already) I am really enjoying school. All of my classes are online, so I have an abundance of free time on my hands.

To remedy this abundance of time and lack of financial security at the moment, I applied to work in a new tea house opening in Nob Hill. Working here would be like throwing a tea party everyday and getting paid for it which would be amazing, however I have yet to hear back from the owner and am getting quite anxious. I am terrible with first meetings, I get nervous and my voice shakes. It isn’t a pretty site so I am hoping the pictures of the cakes I sent will win her over and then I can really shine once I know she likes my work.

My wonderful husband finished his schooling and after a month in Alabama is jumping into his field. I am so proud of him and everything that he is doing right now. He is so great at his job and everyone that meets him loves him. I know he is going to go far in the industry. Now we just need our pesky governor to leave the filming industry alone so Caleb and I won’t have to move to someplace like Louisiana or California, although the later wouldn’t be so bad if I were a reasonable distance from a beach!

I feel like I have grown in the past year, but in a way that I am not used to. I have definitely become more honest and more forgiving. I also have realized that you have to take things one day at a time, and know that you can do anything you want to, you just have to try.

Anyway, just playing catch up and for now I leave with this 🙂

 

 

 

Letting go…

Merry Christmas…well Merry Christmas Eve anyway.

While today has been a happy day filled with family, and presents, and good food, I feel a little irritated, no…that’s not the right word…more like dumbfounded.

I feel like I need to just purge so I can let go and move on for the new year. In the past 6 months I have managed to lose relationships that I held very dear to me and I don’t understand why…what I did, or where I took a wrong turn. I am left with nothing but hurt feelings and harsh words.

One in particular has been weighing heavy on my mind. It seemed to vanish into thin air. I am at a total loss for what I did to dissolve this bond I thought I would share with this person for a long long time.

To this person, I feel you should know this. Since you refuse to answer any of my attempts to communicate with you I guess I will address it here.

When I met you, I thought that you were one of the most genuine, unique, and talented people that I had ever had the pleasure of having in my life. We never developed a steady relationship where we spent a lot of time together, but it was the type of friendship that it didn’t matter how often we hung out, we could always connect. Friendship like that is rare. I didn’t realize that to you, it was just disposable.

I feel that you should know that while most people who have had encounters with you say your are cruel and hateful, I stood up for you and said that you just need to warm up and that you are really a good person. When you treated our friends like crap, once again I would say it’s just a phase and you are having are hard time. At the end of the summer when you were going through a rough time I did nothing but encourage and tell you how much I love you and that I would always be there for you no matter what the need or situation. I told you that I would do anything I could to make it easier. In the end you just cut me out and pushed me away. What exactly is it that I did to make you do this? I am beginning to think that it wasn’t me at all, but just you.

Now that I have had some time to think, I am beginning to realize that you really aren’t that great of a person, that you are hateful, and bitter. I am not saying these things to hurt your feelings, but just to make you aware of these things in hopes that you will open your eyes and realize that if you don’t stop treating people this way you will just end up old, and alone. If that is what you want, you are truly on the right path.

Stop holding grudges, in the end it will only hurt you.

We have all had our share of hard times, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat people the way you do.

Regardless of what everyone says, we all talk about eachother at some point or another in our lives. It is just a fact of life, you have a thick skin so get over it already.

I don’t know if this person will ever read this… but if they do I hope that they realize I am just trying to be honest. My intentions are not to hurt but to inform.

If nothing else this post was selfish on my part, but lately I feel like I need to say what I really feel and think. I am tired of dancing around things.

I know I may have said some harsh things, but I would love it if we could reconcile and get over whatever has happened. My phone number is the same. If you feel like you want to talk just call me. You know who you are.

Too Many Cooks

Well I have to say today was a pretty darn good day. It was spent with two of my favorite people (Adam and Caleb) wandering through Costco, Walgreens, the Harvest Festival across the street, and then ended with an adventure in cooking which leads me to the main point of this post.

My house mates and I have decided to start cooking more often with the purpose of eating healthier (meaning not fast food) and saving money. With this decision Adam and I decided it would be fun to create a community blog where we post the recipes that we attempt, and hopefully the recipes that you attempt along with the adventures that go with spending an evening in the kitchen.

On that note, please check out our new project/blog

http://toomanycooks1.blogspot.com

and join in our fun. We hope that this will lead to something good but we need your help so if you have any recipes or even fun stories about your own cooking adventure please let us know and we will make it possible for you to post it in our blog.

With that I bid you fairwell for the evening as I find a comfy spot on the couch to watch and listen to Bowie Cover band practice.

Oh and remember smile and R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Right, Left, who gives a damn…

Well its Saturday night and I actually find myself in an empty house. That’s right an EMPTY HOUSE! I am basking in the glory of an empty house with this feeling in my gut that it could all be changed with the twist of a door nob.

So on this Saturday night I decided to take a walk down my Netflix Watch Now que and see what was available for my viewing pleasure. I stopped on Margaret Cho, who, for those of you who don’t know, is a female comedian who is known for her loud mouth and bluntness. I figure what the hell “girl power” right, so I put her on and what follows is an hour to and hour and a half of just ridiculously hateful dialogue speaking about how stupid and ignorant republicans are, and how stupid and judgmental Christians are, and how everyone who is against gay marriage is just homophobic and stupid. (I love that word by the way, stupid, doesn’t it sound so intelligent when someone calls someone else stupid?) Now while I don’t declare myself a Republican and my view on spirituality is not necessarily limited to Christianity I find that the things she is saying strike a nerve.

Since when did it become our goal in life to prove that everyone who doesn’t see things that way that we do is stupid or ignorant? Why is that we can’t just try and coexist without bringing hate into the world. I find that I don’t fit into one single category and I am sure that there are many others out there who feel the same way. I agree with the left side on some things and the right side on others. Why do I have to pick a side? And then when I do pick a side be subjected to all the hatred.

You know, in the midst of all the nonsense she was speaking she made a good point. Cho was talking about abortion and the morning after pill. She made the statement that while Conservatives are anti-abortion that they are for the death penalty, then stated that they were just hypocrites. Well doesn’t it go both ways? In general, Liberals are pro-abortion, yet anti-death penalty. What exactly is the difference? Aren’t both ending life?

I just don’t understand why we feel like “our” way is the only way. Aren’t their two sides to every story? I mean of course there is going to be conflict, conflict is a natural part of life, but is it absolutely necessary to encourage it by constantly calling each other stupid and ignorant? Shouldn’t we try and work towards a compromise? Life isn’t prefect and there will always be right and wrong and good and evil, but why fuel the fire when it isn’t absolutely necessary? We’re just fuel which is a precious commodity.

I think everyone needs to learn about a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T. If you want people to respect your views and beliefs then you should respect theirs. Intelligent debate and conversation is always welcome, but leave the name calling out of it.

I don’t want you to think that I am oblivious to the fact that I am guilty of this too. I know that, but I am going to try to take my own advice and try a little respect. A little goes a long way.

Oh and try smiling 🙂 once in a while, don’t be rude to people (woman in Sunflower market) just for the sake of being rude. Is it really that hard to say excuse me and not MOVE. I feel like I strive to be a good person. I have my faults, I know that I can be a bitch, but in general I try to be nice to everyone, strangers included, until they give a reason to be ugly. Everyone has bad days, but is it really the stranger you meet in the grocery stores fault that you had a bad day? Maybe they are having a bad day too?

What it boils down to is that we are all human beings, whether you’re black or white, gay or straight, man or woman, we are all people with feelings that can be hurt.

Now don’t confuse me with someone who believes that criminals deserve to be treated with the same respect as every law abiding citizen, you know the laws, and what the consequences are when you break them. If you kill someone or rob someone or hurt someone on purpose, then I think that you give up your rights.

Whoa, tangent. Anywho, I guess the moral of my blog is just try to be respectful of others and their beliefs. Kindness and understanding will get you a lot further in life than constant criticism and hatred.

P.S.

If anyone was keeping count here are the final tallies the use of the words stupid and respect ha…

Stupid– 8

Respect– 8

Kitty Helmet

Well today has started off to be a great day…pause…NOT! Louis has ripped his head open again! This is the third time this little guy is going to have to have surgery on his head in less than a year. So I have decided to work on a helmet so that what ever it is that he keeps doing to injure his head he won’t be able to do anymore. I will keep you updated on the progress, but as of now here is a photo to show what he looks like when he does this and the vet fixes him. It is truly pitiful.

Pie Pops

Today was a really good day.

It started off with getting to sleep in with my hubby, and then I got up and met my mom, Chelsea, Daryl, and Amanda for shopping. We spent the day looking at baby stuff and what not. I ended up with two new dresses and two pair of Source of Wisdom jeans, which are my favorite. We finished of girls day with dinner at Chilli’s where I had yummy baby back ribs and a molten lava cake which was also very yummy.We laughed all day long which was surprising, I really enjoyed it.

When I got home Caleb and I went to Ecco where I topped things off with a Nutella gelato shake. I must say Nutella is truly a gift from God. Thank you hazelnuts! Caleb and I played a round of rummy which I lost by about 130 points.

The most exciting part of my day however, was spent in front of my las top. I was looking through my class list and realized that I only need 16 more classes to graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. 16!!! That is such a relief because the thought of two more years of school is daunting.

My latest interest and hobby is baking. I fell in love with baking about a year or so ago and realized that this has become the ultimate stress relief. No matter what the outcome of my project I always have a good time, I started with cakes, and cupcakes, and moved on to cookies and pies. I absolutely love spending an afternoon in the kitchen whipping up something yummy. I have always been interested in culinary school and tonight I decided that I would look into it. It turns out that CNM offers a three-term program (28 credit hours) in which you graduate with a baking certificate. I have made the decision that I am going to do this. I am so psyched about it! I can do UNM and CNM at the same time and graduate around the same time! I can see the light at the end of what has been a very very long and dark tunnel. It feels so good!

Anyway, I finished the night off with baking Pie Pops. Here is how they turned out…

Tomorrow is my first day of class at UNM and things are looking sunny.

Playdough Ice-cream

1. What time did you get up this morning? 11:00am, I am on vacation

2. How do you like your steak? Medium, I like it pink in the middle

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Funny People, way to drawn out

4. What is your favorite TV show? The Office, I watch it every night before I go to sleep

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? I know I should say Paris, or somewhere exotic, but I’d settle for somewhere along highway 1 in California

6. What did you have for breakfast? I had a brownie, breakfast of champions

7. What is your favorite cuisine? I love Japanese food

8. What foods do you dislike? bell peppers, yuck

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Sushi Hama, Azuma, and Thai Orchid

10. Favorite dressing? Dion’s ranch

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? 2001 Mitsubishi Montero, its a big momma

12. What are your favorite clothes?Anything black

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Greece

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? depends on the situation

15. Where would you want to retire? Greece

16. Favorite time of day? When the sun goes down

17. Where were you born? Gallup NM

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Football, GO BRONCOS!!!

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? huh?

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? again, what?

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? blah, blah, blah

22. Bird watcher? my mother in law is

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? I love the night time, I like to party

24. Do you have any pets? Two dogs and a cat who is in foster care 😦 I miss my Louis, Carson is a drama queen

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share? I think I am going to become a perma vacationer

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A marine biologist

27. What is your best childhood memory? I don’t remember much of my childhood

28. Are you a cat or dog person? both

29. Are you married? 4 years and counting

30. Always wear your seat belt? always

31. Been in a car accident? only a couple of fender benderes

32. Any pet peeves? girls who try to act like boys to get attention and quite talkers

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? fresh slices of tomatoes

34. Favorite Flower? Calililly

35. Favorite ice cream? cookie dough

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Chik-fil-a

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test? 1

38. From whom did you get your last email? not sure

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Sephora or H&M or Express can’t decide

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? drove to Birmingham

41. Like your job? don’t have one

42. Broccoli? could live without it

43. What was your favorite vacation? I would say either the beach or San Francisco

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Caleb, Wayne, and Judy

45. What are you listening to right now? the end of Iron Man

46. What is your favorite color? black, white, and red

47. How many tattoos do you have? 2

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? nada

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 10:02 pm

50. Coffee Drinker? not unless its an Iced Caramel Macchiatto with extra Caramel from Startbucks

Just incase you were bored and were interested in these 50 facts 🙂 enjoy

P.S. I had playdough ice-cream with sprinkles for dessert tonight ala Belle

Life in the south…

Its been quite some time since I last posted so I figure I would give it a go…

The last blog I posted was pretty negative so I figured it was time to soften things up and let all those who read know that life is better. Caleb and I have decided to take advantage of the whole unemployment situation. We decided to do a little bit of traveling.

So we…

We went on a camping trip, although I did come back with an unexplained rash that has yet to go away. It was fun though, we went with Rachel and we later met by Adam, Jerry, and some girl. Caleb, Rachel, and I went to Jemez falls and swam in the swimming hole, then we made quite the trek up to the hot springs. We went back to the camp site roasted brats and made smores. All in all it was a pretty good night. (I slept in the car with Rachel)

Now Caleb and I are in Birmingham for the next couple of weeks and are enjoying our family. Everything is slowly but surely working out. I really miss living out here. I am so torn. Some days I could see us just picking up and moving back, but when we moved from Birmingham to ABQ it took me months to get it together. I cried every night for two months because I missed everyone so much so I can’t imagine how long it would take me to recover from moving away from all of my loved ones in ABQ (family and friends).

Which brings me to my next point…

I know we don’t spend much time together anymore, but I still feel close to you. We need to make it a point spend time together.

Danielle, I miss you! I hate when I don’t get to see you very often. You and I have a connection that I have never felt with anyone else. I feel like I can tell you things that I would not tell anyone else and I know you won’t judge me or make me feel like a bad person for feeling that way.  I want you to know that I am here for you, what ever you need. Please take advantage and don’t hesitate to ask for anything because I am so lucky to have you in my life.

Bri, you have always been there for me. Being your friend is so easy. Even when we haven’t seen each other for over a month we can hang out and it feels just like it did when I saw you everyday. I know that things are tough right now, but you are strong and you will make it work. I have every faith in you that you will do great things with your life and you will be happy. I am so lucky to have you in my life.

Katie, I know that I constantly tell you how crazy you are for putting up with the things you put up with, but the truth is I wish I had half of the patience and kindness you have. You are the most beautiful person I have ever had the pleaseure of knowing both inside and out. You are truly an example of uncomditional love and I hope that one day you will rub off on me. I am so lucky to have you in my life.

Molly, I think that you and I could possibly have been one person in another life. I hate that we don’t see eachother more and I really want to work on making our visits more frequent. You are so talented and inspiring. I am so lucky to have you in my life.

Being here has made me realize that I  have done it in the past and continue to take my friends for granted, I miss you guys and I hope that when I get back we can start spending more time together.

Love from the south…

P.S. I am lovin me some sweet tea, and don’t be surprised if I come back with a little bit of a twang 😉

Life Sucks

Well, its official, my self pity party has now begun.

Our house feels like it was built on the face of the sun, I have not been a comfortable temperature for two weeks now and my expensive Mac makeup continues to melt off of my face everyday.What a waste.

I am so sick and tired of everything going wrong that I have seriously contemplated just disappearing and starting over somewhere else where no one knows me and I know no one. I would take Caleb with me of course.

Danielle do you still want to run away?

I find that it doesn’t matter how good of a person you are, you are going to get screwed, so whats the freakin’ point? Someone please enlighten me because I am literally losing my mind. I feel like screaming and ripping my hair out about 90% of the time.

Everything is making me crazy. Everyone is getting on my nerves. There is so much tension in our house you could cut it with a knife. Everyone is mad about something, and no one wants to talk about it. If my bedroom were air conditioned I would never ever leave it. That is the only room in the house where I can have some solitude. There are constantly people at our house. Our couch is basically a motel and I am like house cleaning, the only difference is that no one pays for their stay. There are a select few who are excluded from this group, you know who you are, but in general I am sick of all of the random people that show up here all of the time. I think I am going to put a sign on the door that reads:

“GO AWAY, I AM NOT KIDDING, TURN AROUND AND GO AWAY!!!!!!!”

Can you tell I am upset? I think I am going to have a nervous break down. If you call and can’t get a hold of me it probably because I have been committed. Maybe I will take up some disgusting drug habit or become an alcoholic so that my family will send me to rehab. That would be a vacation compared to whats going on here.

P.S. NEVER be the only girl living with 3 boys, because no matter what it is always them against you and you are just a crazy bitch who complains about everything and who blows everything way out of proportion.

Oh and that is just the beginning…

About a week and a half ago Caleb lost his job at Verizon. They screwed us out of his last two pay checks. We have applied for unemployment, food stamps, and medicade. I feel like such a loser. I never ever ever thought that I would apply for food stamps. So  we qualify for food stamps as long as we make less than 1100 dollars a month, but once unemployment kicks in we will be making over 1100 dollars a month, so that cancels out our eligibility for food stamps. I guess if this was going to happen it is a good thing it happened while Obama is president because he is going to take really good care of all of us lower class folks and we’re not going to have to worry about anything (I guess I shouldn’t hold my breath).

So the moral of this blog…

FML

Thats all

On a serious note…

So today, well technically yesterday, June 2, we celebrated my step-mother’s 40th birthday.

For those of you who don’t know Jen was diagnosed with breast cancer the week before Christmas 2008, and she has been amazing through through the entire experience. She will soon be completeing 6 months of Chemotherapy treatments and is now going to be starting radiation. She is thriving, and is expected to make a full recovery.

Today we had a birthday party to celebrate her 40th. At the party there was a collection of family and friends. Amoungst these family and friends were 4 very incredible women. Jen, her mother Nancy, Carla (a family friend), and Erica. All of these women have been directly affected by cancer. All of these women are beautiful and strong. I can only hope to be a only a small portion of what these women are when I am older. So I wanted to share each of their stories in hopes that they can bring comfort and encouragement to any who are going through a rough time in their lives.

Jen– Jen is married to my father, a mother of 3 (two boys ages 3 and 5, and one girl age 7), and she is quite the pistol. Jen was diagnosed with breast cancer in December of 2008. When she received the news, she immediately took action. She didn’t pity herself, or expect pity from anyone else. She began her fight the day she found the lump in her breast.

Since the diagnosis Jen has had a mastectomy of the right breast, gone through 6 months of chemo, lost all of her hair, and yet she still has the courage to walk with her head held high and a big smile on her face. She is amazing.

Jen still has a long road ahead of her. She will undergo radiation treatments, a mastectomy of the left breast and reconstructive surgery. However, all of this has barely phased her, and she will come out the other side a new stronger version of herself.

Nancy- Nancy is Jen’s mother. Nancy lost her husband a year ago to cancer and now is dealing with the fact that her daughter has breast cancer. Nancy has been incredible. She has come out from Seattle for weeks at a time and been there to hole her daughters hand every step of the way, all without expecting pity or help from anyone else.

Carla- Carla is a very close family friends and was diagnosed and beat breast cancer a few years back. Carla also deals with several other health issues and all the while does this with a smile on her face and a helping hand lent to Jen when she needs it.

Erica- Erica is a fairly new friend. Erica is a mother of two young children. Jen and my father met her at a restaraunt when Erica’s husband began a conversation with Jen about where she was in her treatment. Erica’s husband had just finished treatment for colon cancer when she was diagnosed. Erica’s cancer is very advanced and the tumor was so big that they had to start chemotherapy to shrink the tumor before they could do surgery. Everything is going as planned and Erica should be able to have surgery sometime this summer. I just met her, but she is a vision of strength.She has a long road ahead, but is also expected to make a full recovery.

So I guess the moral of the story is that no matter how bad things get we have the capacity to move forward anf give it our best shot. All it takes is a little bit of love and determination.

I am so thankful to these women. They have been such great role models to me and I hope that I can handle the challenges that life throws at me half as well as they have handled the trials that have been set before them.